Special Education for Beginners | Managing Paraprofessionals, Special Education Strategies, First Year Sped Teachers, Special Ed Overwhelm, Paperwork for Special Education Teachers

Ask Us Anything Part 10: Difficult Parents + Progress Monitoring

• Jennifer Hofferber - Special Education Teacher and Coach • Episode 184

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On today's segment of Ask Us Anything with my co-host, Paul Hubbard we answer two common challenges faced by special education teachers: handling difficult parents and figuring out how often to progress monitor students.

How do you deal with difficult parents?
Jennifer and Paul both emphasize the importance of building strong relationships with parents and maintaining professionalism during tough conversations. Jennifer recommends practicing what you want to say ahead of time, paying attention to body language and tone, and ensuring that communication is consistent and clear to build trust before conflicts arise. Paul highlights the need to reflect on the energy you project, suggesting teachers categorize parents into Advocate, Behavioral, and Combative types, and use different strategies for each. He recommends involving Advocate Parents as valuable members of the IEP team by assigning them specific roles, helping to create a more collaborative relationship.

How often should teachers progress monitor students?
Both Jennifer and Paul agree that while daily data collection can be overwhelming, leaving progress monitoring until right before a report is due isn’t effective either. They suggest finding a balance, such as weekly or bi-weekly data collection, depending on the student's needs. Paul explains how assigning different students to specific days for monitoring can help teachers stay consistent. They also recommend using digital tools like Google Forms to streamline data collection, especially with the help of paraprofessionals, ensuring that accurate data is readily available for IEP meetings and decisions.

Highlights:

  • Building strong relationships with parents and effectively navigating tough conversations when emotions run high
  • Body language and preparation can significantly impact your communication with challenging parents
  • A breakdown of different types of difficult parents
  • How involving parents in the IEP process can turn them into valuable allies
  • Finding a balance for your daily data collection to avoid last-minute data rushes
  • Strategies for incorporating progress monitoring into your weekly routine to ensure more consistent and accurate data collection.
  • How using Google Forms and paraprofessional support can streamline data collection for IEP meetings.

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Speaker 1:

Hey, special educator, are you overwhelmed by the absurd amount of paperwork on your to-do list? Do you wish you had the skills to build a rock-solid team with your staff? Do you find yourself scouring the internet for how to meet the needs of each student on your caseload? Well, hey there. I'm Jennifer Hopperberg, an award-winning veteran special education teacher and current instructional coach, who has walked in your shoes through each of these challenges and, yes, I have the metaphorical blisters to prove it. I have cried your tears and felt your pain, and now I'm here to support you in the way I wish someone would have been there to support me. Listen in each week as my guests and I dish out practical wisdom to help you handle all the classroom curveballs that are thrown at you and learn how to laugh in spite of the chaos, to celebrate those small yet significant victories that only a special educator can understand. So, to celebrate those small yet significant victories that only a special educator can understand. So are you ready? Wipe your tears and put on your superhero cape, because together we are going to learn how to survive and thrive in the ever crazy, completely overwhelming laugh. So you don't cry. Profession of being a special education teacher.

Speaker 1:

Welcome back to another episode of Special Education for Beginners. Today we have another fun and insightful episode of the Ask Us Anything segment with my co-host, paul. We love getting your questions and today we are diving into two for Beginners. Today we have another fun and insightful episode of the Ask Us Anything segment with my co-host, paul. We love getting your questions and today we are diving into two really important topics how to handle difficult parents and how often you should be progress monitoring your students. These are questions every special education teacher faces at some point, so we're excited to share our experiences and offer a few tips along the way. How are you today, paul?

Speaker 2:

I am doing well. How are you?

Speaker 1:

I'm good. I'm loving this fall weather. It's about 70s here and it's my favorite time of the year.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, my wife's favorite time of the year too, and I guess it's mine if I really thought about it. But yeah, it's pretty good.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so let's jump in. A question that I think every special education teacher has faced at some point in their career is how do you deal with difficult parents? We all know that building a strong relationship with parents is key, but sometimes it's challenging whenever there are emotions that are running high or concerns that aren't easy to address. So what strategies have you found helpful when it comes to navigating these hard conversations?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, well, this is a topic that, even though I'm no longer a special education teacher, it's something that I deal with quite a bit still. As a director of a daycare center, I still have upset parents Working with kids. There's definitely a complicated, uh navigation of these specific issues. Um, one of the things that I would encourage teachers to do is to see what, like if they were, if the parent they're talking to was a mirror, what would be reflected back at you, like what are you giving off? What energy are you giving off? Are you, um, giving off a more aggressive or more, uh, cold? You know what is the impression of you?

Speaker 2:

Uh, something that can be helpful for this is, you know, I know it's going in front of an actual mirror or or a camera and just saying what you want to say to the parent before the meeting and be like okay, how's this coming across? Because body language does a lot and it is a stressful situation and it is a situation that is very emotionally driven or can be very emotionally driven. So, having that, that focus time on preparing how you come across in saying things that maybe are difficult to hear, um, and and work on your wording, like, I don't think that, like, everyone has the ability to to say what needs said, but it takes a like practiced speech or or script to help you get to the point to where, like, it's the least damaging or at least emotionally rising in the, in the person you're talking to.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it's interesting that you say that, because I just had a conversation with my husband and he's like, he's like it's not what you say, it's how you look when you're saying it. So I think that's so true that sometimes we come off in one way when we really don't mean it to be aggressive or rude, but we really do need to be cognizant of what our facial expressions are giving off and our tone of voice. And yeah, I really agree with practicing being professional. You know, when you're having a conversation with a parent, you have to keep, you have to stay professional at all times. You can't just say something and fly off the cuff because you're just going to, you're going to lose that trust with that parent, you're going to have hard feelings and it's hard to get that back.

Speaker 1:

So I truly, I truly agree with with practicing in a mirror. I think that's a good point. I feel like making sure that you are communicating, however it is you want to communicate with parents, make sure that you're doing that consistently and clearly on a regular basis before it, before you have the opportunity to for a conflict to come up. So if you are sending home those positive notes and you're building that kind of that relationship ahead of time, so that when tough conversations do arise that you already have that relationship built a little bit and there's not the possibility for so much conflict.

Speaker 2:

Definitely, and one of the things that I mean I think it's an important conversation to talk about what different kinds of parents there are that can be difficult to work with. I think that, um, there can be, I would say, like three main kinds, um, and it just so happens to line up with ABCs. I don't know how that happened, but, um, you have the teach, the apparent advocates that are like super, advocating for their child Maybe they're just, you know, they want the paperwork to be impeccable and they want them to get as much of the services that can be offered, and always advocating for it, catching the errors in paperwork, which can feel very much like you're not trusted.

Speaker 2:

Your professional experience're not trusted your professional like experience isn't trusted, um. And then there's the, the behavioral parent, the one that has that kid that is just always getting calls home from everywhere that can. They can be very frustrated and and, uh, that can come across and you know, especially, know, especially when, like you said, like when it's only negative contacts home, like that can definitely wear on someone to hear that your kid is messing up and not, you know, doing what they're supposed to and it's a helpless, you know, position to be in. And then there's just the, the, um, the combative parents, the ones that are just, they just kind of want to stir up things because that's just, you know how they were raised, that's how they, you know they get their, they're not able to regulate their emotions properly and they just the way they get their emotions out is by taking it on someone else. And all of those have I have experience with.

Speaker 2:

I think that it's you know both of them, or all of them, are very different in how you handle them. But I think that the for the advocate and the behavioral parent, I think that you can really spin it to be in your favor Combative one. You might need to just set some clear boundaries and and and remind them that this is a professional relationship. Um, and set boundaries If that doesn't happen. I've had that happen too. But the advocate parent they really like are a valuable part of the IEP team if you use them properly. Uh, but what I have found that works wonders is being like yes, can you, I'm gonna get everything to you early. Can you look through it and make sure I didn't miss anything?

Speaker 1:

give them a job that that changes?

Speaker 2:

yes, that changes the narrative. It's not oh, I'm gonna catch these teachers not being professional and I'm gonna make them pay for you. You know, not giving my child the care and dedication that I desire the child to have, but flipping it and be like hey. So actually you are very, very good at finding those things that maybe, like I missed, I just missed, you know. So framing is like, hey, I'm going to get you this paperwork early and I want you to go through it. You are an expert on your kid. I've only just had you know this kid this year. I'm learning uh about you know your kid and how he operates. So could you give me a hand and make sure that it's lines up with what you know about your son and what you know, and that can just totally change the whole approach of that parent. And then you're like besties, then you're like working together and there's no tension, it's just us like all positive interaction.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think those parents who are advocating strongly like that, they're just, they're worried and overwhelmed and I think they project their insecurities onto you. But I think giving that right back to them and giving them a job to do and giving them something to feel like they have control over, I think that's an excellent, excellent idea. And then I sometimes I deal with those parents who just they're combative but it's often where, if you will just explain things to them, they might back off a little bit. Sometimes they just don't understand how a school system operates and how or some of the decisions that you make they don't always understand. So I think as much explaining as you can do to parents like that, I think that would help out a lot.

Speaker 2:

And I might even say do it ahead of time, do it before it's an issue Like, say like, for example, this is unrelated to education, but I had to notify a parent here at the center that you were having to change her days because the board changed the policies and we had to change it, and hers was a unique situation. Board changed the policies and we had to change it, and hers was a unique situation. And so I was like, okay, well, I'm gonna have to do this. This is initiative by you know, my oversight board. They're going, I'm gonna have to do this.

Speaker 2:

Um, but I can either do it to where it's like I let the board deliver the bad news and then everyone's freaking out, or I go to those specific cases where they'll be affected and I say, hey, just so you know this is coming up, we got a lot of time to figure out a solution or an appeal or something that can help, you know, in this specific situation. And instead of it being an issue where she comes to me after the board sends the letter and like, ah, I haven't, I heard about this, you know very combative, yeah, she's now like, oh, appreciative that I gave her the heads up on something like this. So, pre sharing information, that is that is harsh or not harsh, but like controversial, a little bit controversial, or may have like two sides, um, or the parent maybe has backed the other side in the past of the decision that was made. Uh, that can I mean. Communication is key and I feel like that's most of these problems.

Speaker 1:

Better communication can can play a huge role in making it better soon to have quarter one finished up and that's when you report on that progress of that nine weeks and teachers hopefully have their schedules down, their routines down.

Speaker 1:

So now it gives them, it frees up their kind of their brain capacity to start thinking about progress monitoring and, if it hasn't been consistently done up until this point, making sure that you figure out how you are checking in on all of those goals. But I know it's come up in my district that I've had this question a lot and it's how do I track progress? I have some teachers who are doing daily data. They're having themselves and their paraprofessionals go in and take daily data and I just feel like that's way too much. And then I have some teachers who are on the totally opposite end and they are doing it like the day before the progress report card is due, and so there needs to be some type of happy medium of okay, I need to consistently track data, I need to consistently test the kids on their goals and then I need to write a progress report. So what are your thoughts on how frequently we should be progress monitoring to ensure that we are staying on top of this?

Speaker 2:

Well, I would definitely say that although daily data isn't bad on the data side of things, it can be very stressful and fatiguing on the students and the teachers. My strategy was weekly and what I would do is I would have days of the week assigned to different kids and it would just be small snippets of progress monitoring for that day. So I'd be like I know that, like you know, johnny and Steve, today is Johnny's and Steve's progress monitoring day. So at some point in the day I need to pull them aside and do the progress monitoring. And it doesn't take long, you know. You know progress monitoring for reading fluency is like a minute and then you know, have them read it on their own and then ask them the comprehension questions. Come back and ask them the comprehension questions later.

Speaker 2:

Meanwhile you can be progress monitoring. You know math multiplication over here and like there's a way to do it, and I might even venture so far to say, once you do have that consistent data collection built into your schedule, it is so much easier for you and the student and then you can start building on like progress monitoring almost becomes like a, a point of pointing out look how much better you've gotten, look how much more words you're reading per story, and that can be extremely motivating for a child to see that. And so, like data, data does have some weight to it. And so if you have a good chunk of data, then you can, in those IEP meetings that are confrontational, where the parent is, you know, really, really like against what you're doing, having a strong set of data, saying, hey, this is not an uninformed decision, this is a decision that's backed by research, backed by research on the specific data that we got back from your child says that this would really benefit them, and I'm not having it be like, oh yeah, I just, real quick, before the meeting, I popped in there and I asked him a couple of questions and he didn't do okay or what I found, which was so frustrating to me teachers who would just kind of guess bs, they just bs something that wouldn't be a point that parents would follow up on, uh, but also a point to where it looked like they were doing something is so frustrating when I just because I I asked someone one time I was like, how do you get all your progress monitoring, like reports, in so quickly and they just said, well, I just copy and paste the same thing into everyone's, I'm like I can't do that morally, can't do that you just took the, the individualized, out of the whole ip

Speaker 1:

right, exactly, exactly yeah, well, definitely, consistency is key, making giving yourself a plan and I think that's a great idea, having that every week. Your age kit is tied to a day and that's when you're doing that progress monitoring. When I was in the classroom, we did it every two to three weeks. We would check that. But, like you said, showing up into those meetings without data, that's just, it's unprofessional, it's illegal and it's just I don't know, it's kind of embarrassing If you don't know where that child is, how can you, like you said, eth, do it every week? Some teachers do it every two, three, four weeks. But it truly depends on the student and the student's needs, because some of your lower students, your intellectual disabilities, you probably are going to be progress monitoring more often, whereas your high SLD kids, your specific learning disabilities, you might not have to do it as often. So it definitely has to be individualized and it can't just be copy and paste from one students to the other. You've got to look at each child and their needs.

Speaker 2:

Definitely, and I definitely, while you were talking, I did think of something that I did that really worked well is that I would work in, figure out, based on the goals I'd figure out, based on the goals I'd figure out, what of this progress monitoring requires me to do it myself or a TA to do, and I very clearly differentiated it and it allowed me a lot more freedom in certain areas, because a lot of the math, a progress monitoring, does not require me to do it. It's, you know, normally. You know they've given a list of problems and they're trying their best to solve them in a certain amount of time, so they need to be monitored to make sure that they're not. You know they're staying focused and they're not doing anything that they shouldn't be, um, but but if you find those things that work in in that way, you can really create a team dynamic and data collection, and I can't tell you enough how much I use google forms and what I would do is I I create a google form, not for like, sometimes I create google Forms for the actual student to take and that you know it tracked my data for me, but most of the time it was Google Forms that my TAs could enter in the data they collected in their progress monitoring sessions for the student and that was very valuable because it gave it that I didn't have to keep track of a bunch of papers, because it gave it it.

Speaker 2:

They, I didn't have to keep track of a bunch of papers, uh, they were able to put it in there and then it was right there in my data set. And then I, when I get to progress monitoring or progress report time, then I look at my data and their data and I compare it and then I think about it like they progress monitor to them and then every month, two months then I progress monitor them just to make sure that there's you know cause I, I am the professional, I'm the one with formal education on do this.

Speaker 1:

No, your name's on that. On that I mean not there, right.

Speaker 2:

So I want to make sure that it's not. There's not some like and there has been. There was one instance where well, okay, so I found out the TA was helping them a little bit more than they should have and that's valuable.

Speaker 2:

So make sure that you know it's not like oh, forget about it, it's done, it's taken care of someone else's job now. No, it's still your responsibility. That reflects that data correctly. I think Google Forms is one of the best free ways that's mostly available to teachers to kind of bring TAs into some of that more instructional or not instructional assessment role. That can be valuable in helping you keep up with the data.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, definitely helping you keep up with the data. Yeah, definitely, I think finding whatever system works best for you. Make sure that you're taking the data based on what you said that you were going to do in the IEP. If it says weekly data, make sure it's weekly. If it says nine weeks, make sure you at least do it one time during that nine weeks. But you have to have that data to report on that progress every nine weeks or as often as it says you're going to an IEP. And then when you're going to those annual IEPs, you've got to have that data. Whether it's a printout from your Google form or your papers that you have in a folder, just whatever it is, make sure that you have that information to take to your meetings.

Speaker 1:

All right, well, that wraps up today's Ask Us Anything segment Managing, challenging parents and staying on top of progress monitoring can feel very daunting, but with the right tools and strategies it is absolutely manageable. And speaking of tools, don't forget to check out my parent communication logs, communication survey and positive notes. These are essential for keeping you organized, building those positive relationships with parents and staying proactive with parent communication. They are super easy to implement just print and use them. I will add the link to them in the show notes as well. And then, if you found today's episode helpful, make sure to subscribe, leave us a review and keep those questions coming. Remember, you can click the link in the show notes if you would like to ask us a question. Thanks for listening and I'll see you next month, paul.

Speaker 2:

All right, looking forward to it.